As much as we don’t like to admit it, we struggle.
Whether it be in our relationships, workplace, health, or our being itself, we know the pain of trying to hold it all together for it to ultimately blow up in our face.
For most of July, I have found myself in alignment. I recently re-read The Unthethered Soul by Michael Singer and let me tell you, that book is life-changing. If you haven’t read it yet, seriously, go to Barnes and Noble immediately.
I read it about a year ago when I was fairly new this spiritual work, so unsurprisingly, most of his words didn’t stick with me for more than a week. Well, this time around, things were different.
For those who haven’t read it, the book revolves around the idea that we are not our thoughts or feelings. We experience those thoughts and feelings. We’re in a physical body, but we are not this body. We are all souls having a human experience.
Some deep shit, right?
My day-to-day life suddenly became easier because the pressure was off. My only purpose in this human form is to feel good and stay aligned, everything else is out of my control. I decided to no longer let myself close my energy over minuscule things such as being criticized or feeling ignored.
All was good and well, then I decided to purchase a new book for the first time in forever – Money and The Law of Attraction by Jerry and Esther Hicks. I felt ready to dive even further in to dissociating from my bad thoughts.
Long story short, even though I consciously felt aligned these past few weeks, I managed to manifest an illness. I guess my sub-conscious felt otherwise.
I usually only get sick twice a year, if that, and I was already sick two months ago. It came completely out of nowhere. Well, with my newly aligned thought patterns, I saw this sickness as the perfect assignment. The goal was to stay positively focused internally no matter how terrible I felt externally. Things didn’t go according to plan.
I continued with my day-to-day activities like work and my spiritual practices yet I wasn’t feeling any better. I thought if I focused on wanting to feel good, I would, per the law of attraction.
I realize now that no matter how much positivity I was preaching, my vibration was still low. I didn’t truly believe the things I was saying and ultimately, my ego took over. I ended up crying to old break-up songs on my commute home from work yesterday, went to sleep at a solid 9pm, and didn’t leave my bed until noon today.
I broke.
The thing about the law of attraction and Singer’s wisdom on thoughts is you have to let go of control. You can’t co-create your reality from a place a lack.
I thought I was positively focusing when all I was doing was zeroing in on the fact I wasn’t well. I was getting frustrated over missing my workout classes and not having the energy to keep up my productivity.
I created a model of how reality should be in my mind and when the Universe didn’t fit that, I freaked out. I got angry. I tried desperately to stick with my spiritual practices like journaling, meditation, and writing but all I felt was resentment. I didn’t understand how I could have manifested this illness when I thought I was doing so well.
I even got to a place of entitlement. I felt I didn’t deserve this illness because I feel that I eat the right foods, exercise my body regularly, get enough sleep, the list could go on. I kept trying to justify all the reasons I shouldn’t be sick in my mind but nevertheless, that kept me at a low energy vibration.
The thing is, I didn’t manifest my illness because I did or didn’t ‘deserve’ it, I was simply a match for sickness vibrationally.
Have you ever noticed how the people who are always in ‘go-go-go’ mode always tend to get sick at the worst times? They have a million and one events coming up that they just ‘can’t be sick for!’
The Universe is responding to their stressed energy.
No matter how much our hearts may be in the right place, energy never lies. We have to remember that.
Getting angry at your illness or even when bad things happen in general will never lead to resolution. We have to take a step back and look for the good no matter how difficult it may seem. It’s the only way out of our negative situation.
So if you got sick like me, choose to see the illness as a reason to rest your body guilt-free. Watch a movie you’ve been meaning to watch for a long time, sleep in longer than usual, and if at all possible, take a day off from work or leave early. Health must always come first, your projects can wait.
If you have overall been in a bad head space recently and felt ‘cheated’ by the Universe, understand the fact that you are the co-creator of your reality. If you focus on the bad thoughts, you attract more bad thoughts which eventually have no choice but to manifest into your reality. We want to believe the world is out to get us or find a place to throw blame when the key to living a good life has always been within us.
Let me blow your mind for a moment.
If the Universe gives you the power to think a thought, that thought is automatically possible to become a reality. We would not be given thoughts that can’t come to fruition – it does not follow the law.
When you believe you will always be ill, have terrible partners, shady friendships, and most commonly, be poor, you help co-create events that give you evidence of this reality.
However, when you believe you can move past your disease/addiction, find a significant other that truly cares for you, cultivate loving friendships, and afford a life beyond your wildest dreams, you begin to co-create a different reality.
People and things will fall out of your life that no longer serve you, the sickness will begin to dwindle, and money will come in unexpected places.
With the power in our hands, how can we settle for a negative experience?
This isn’t to say that events won’t happen that trip us up (hell my illness certainly did), but now we have to ability to recognize that our vibration is the Universe’s guide.
When we focus on what we do not want, the Universe doesn’t hear ‘no.’ All the Universe sees is us focusing on something which therefore, must mean we want more of it. While this may seem frustrating, look at the facts here. Our only job in this lifetime is to stay aligned, focus on the things we want, and let the Universe do the rest.
Fixating on that which we do not want is counter-productive. The Universe will never understand lack, so all we’re doing is wasting our energy on a negative experience which will only produce more negativity.
The Law of Attraction is such a vast spectrum and I’ve only scratched the surface of it here, but as I learn more, you bet I’ll document it for you here.
We have got to let go of the idea that abundance is not for everyone, people just ‘get lucky’ or we aren’t trying hard enough. We are one and all have the power to manifest our desires – the second we start believing that, the journey begins.
Trust me, with depression since childhood, this hasn’t been easy to grasp; but if we don’t recognize our own self-worth and power, no one is going to do it for us. We have to make the conscious decision to continue on despite how ‘unfair’ life feels at times.
As Michael Singer wrote, “Spirituality begins when you decide to never stop trying.”
I love you all – let loose.